


Thin Sweater

by Stozier_Rights



Series: Thin Sweater Saga [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, If any of the cc’s say their uncomfortable with this kind of thing it’ll be taken down immediately!, Listen to ycgma, Other, Song fic// jubilee line by Wilbur soot, calorie counting, hints of bulimia and anorexia, im very much projecting onto Wilby, mild hints of depression, please be respectful to the cc’s!!!, please don’t read this if it’ll trigger you, projecting who, sad song time, sorry wilbur, this is outright a vent fic, this is the CHARACTERS not the PEOPLE, tw, vent vent vent, who are we kidding it’s deliberate, wilbur has an eating disorder, ycgma slaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:15:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stozier_Rights/pseuds/Stozier_Rights
Summary: In which Wilbur struggles with self image and mental health, so he develops some very self destructive behaviors. He thinks he’s fine, he thinks he can handle it on his own. He thinks he’ll be fine once he loses the weight. He’s not fine, he can’t be alone any longer, he needs his family again.OrWilbur was ripped from his thoughts by Phill clearing his throat, the man snapped his gaze to the other before forcing a smile as he picked up his mug and took a sip.“You haven’t even touched your food Will,” all the sudden the man felt all three sets of us starring holes in his skin, a feeling that made him want to crumple in on himself.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, their family your honor, yanasties no romance only soft sbi
Series: Thin Sweater Saga [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085414
Comments: 34
Kudos: 502





	Thin Sweater

**Author's Note:**

> Again this is very much so a vent fic, please read the tags before reading as it dose cover some very triggering topics. 
> 
> If it has a chance of triggering you, click away, drink some water and eat something :)  
> I’m here if you ever need to talk and my discord is always open!

_ Wasting your time  _

__

Wilbur shivered as he tried to muffle his sobs into the duvet he was currently curled up into. As much as he tried though, he knew he cries would be heard throughout the entire house. God, he hated himself for that. His door was locked though, he was sure of it. So at least he wouldn't have to deal with questioning from Phill, teasing from Tommy, worried glances from Tubbo, and wordless stares from techno till the next morning. 

  
  


_ You’re wasting mine _

  
  


His stomach ached and his head pounded as he laid in bed, just some of the symptoms of not eating barely anything for days on end. Why did he have to be like this? Why did he have to be a fat, unlovable piece of shit? His sobs got progressively louder as he pulled his knees closer to his chest to try to get the pain to leave. Leave his abdomen and his mind. He hated these thoughts, he hated that they told him he was worthless and over weight when in reality he was deathly underweight. Yet he avoided mirrors, because everytime he looked in one he didn't see himself, he didn't see the sarcastic but charming and playful brit. He saw a broken shell of a man, he saw someone totally different from the one he wanted to be. 

  
  


_ Hate to see you leaving  _

  
  


All the sudden Wilbur heard light pitter patter footsteps walk down the hallway and closed his eyes tightly hoping to god someone just had to pee and wouldn't knock on his door. Although there was no knock, the door just opened. Maybe the door wasn't locked. 

  
  


_ A fate worse than dying _

  
  


“Wilbur?” 

There stood Tubbo, half asleep at Wilbur's door frame. A worried expression on his face as he stared down the crying boy. Wilbur clearly wasn't ok, his face was stained with tears, hair a mess, as he curled into himself as much as possible. All he wanted was for Tubbo to leave, he loved the boy dearly but he did not want the younger to see him in this state. 

  
  


_ Your city gave me asthma  _

  
  


“Tubbo, go back to bed.” 

Tubbo quickly shook his head, he didn't care if he was younger than the man he was clearly in pain and he wasn't just gonna leave him. 

“Wilbur what's going on?” 

  
  


_ That's why im fucking leaving  _

  
  


When Wilbur didn't answer Tubbo simply walked over and got in bed with the man that he looked at like an older brother, and pulled him into his arms. He may have been smaller but the small gesture made the man feel as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders, he stopped crying and actually got some sleep that night. 

… 

  
  


_ Your water gave me cancer  _

  
  


When Wilbur woke up Tubbo was still asleep so he stood as quietly as he could before going into the bathroom and changing into a loose fitting yellow sweater that hid everything and a pair of tight fitting high waisted blue jeans that brang everything in. He then went downstairs, the smell of bacon and eggs immediately filled his lungs making him feel sick to his stomach almost instantly. Today was saturday, family morning breakfast, dear god. He walked down to see Tommy and Techno sat at the table as Phill cooked. 

“Wilbur, you're awake!” Phill smiled brightly as the man sat next to Tommy, “Want something to drink? Coffee?”

  
  


_ The pavement hurt my feelings _

  
  


“Tea’s fine” 

Phill nodded before turning to Tommy as he grabbed the kettle. 

“Go wake up Tubbo, breakfast is almost done.” 

  
  


_ Shout at the wall  _

Tommy stood before walking upstairs to he and Tubbos' room. Before confusily shouting down the stairs. 

“Uh Phill?” 

“Hm?” 

“Tubbos not in our room.” 

“He’s in mine.” Will spoke up.

Wilbur could practically  _ hear  _ the confusion on Tommys face and he expected the same from Phill, instead all he got was a knowing glance shot his way. There was no way he hadn't heard the sobbing from the previous night. Soon enough Tubbo and Tommy were sat at the table as Phill sat down a cup of tea for Will, coffee for himself and Techno, and orange juice for the two younger boys. 

  
  


_ because the walls don't fucking love you.  _

  
  


Phill began to make plates, he put three pieces of bacon and two fried eggs on all the plates but Wilbur noticed he sneaked an extra piece of bacon on to one. Wilbur figured the man did it for himself, but to his surprise the bigger plate was placed in front of him. 

“Phill, I think you accidently gave me more than the rest…” 

“No, purposefully. I didn't really see you eat much yesterday and you've been overworking yourself this week. It's only an extra piece of bacon.” Phill smiled kindly as he set down the rest of the plates. Everyone else seemed fine, eating and laughing. Wilbur though, was on the verge of a panic attack. 

  
  


_ Shout at the wall  _

  
  


Was it really  _ that  _ noticeable? Had he not hid it as well as well as he thought? Did he fail ag- 

Wilbur was ripped from his thoughts by Phill clearing his throat, the man snapped his gaze to the other before forcing a smile as he picked up his mug and took a sip. 

“You haven’t even touched your food Will,” all the sudden the man felt all three sets of us starring holes in his skin, a feeling that made him want to crumple in on himself. 

“Oh sorry, I am, I was just,” Wilbur couldn’t think of a valid excuse so he forced himself to take a bite of the bacon instead. This simple action caused Phil’s face to light up, Wilbur knew Phill was on to him, how could he not be? 

“I know you're not a big breakfast person, but we have a big day today!” 

  
  


_ Because the walls don’t fucking love you  _

  
  


Wilbur raised an eyebrow in question and Phill nodded, “We’re gonna have a family night of sorts, movies, games all that fun.” Will nodded as he choked down another piece of bacon followed with tea. One thing he had to admit, he truly missed Phil’s cooking. He had spent so many family dinners kept in his room, trying to avoid eating. He would give Phill the excuse that he had work to do and he would eat later, but he never did. 

After some time, effort, and quite a bit of self hatred, Wilbur got down most of one of the fried eggs and all the bacon. Soon everyone started helping clean up, once Will was done helping Techno with the dishes he excused himself back upstairs. He told Phill he'd be right back so they could watch the  _ Hunger Games. _

How fitting. 

  
  


_ There's a reason  _

  
  


Once Wilbur reached the bathroom he collapsed on his knees in front of the toilet. He had to fight to keep a sob from ripping from his throat. He failed, he was doing so good and he failed. He knew what he had to do, but oh god he dreaded it. All he could see was the proud look Phill had previously been wielding and how that look would fade into a disappointed one now if he saw what he was doing, saw the horrid thoughts he was having. 

Wilbur hated feeling like this, he hated the thought of letting Phill down but still even as silent tears streamed down his face, he had to push through.

… 

  
  


_ London puts barriers on the tube line.  _

  
  


Wilbur flushed the toilet before going into his room to grab a mint and his journal. He popped the mint into his mouth and ventured back downstairs. Thecno and Phill were talking as Tommy and Tubbo played a quick game of go fish, they were all waiting for him. 

He sat on the couch next to Tubbo and looked to see the movie queued up on the screen. Phill asked if everyone was ready to watch and all nodded in agreement. 

Willbur was hoping and honestly believing the rest of this night would go well. 

Oh boy was he wrong. 

… 

  
  


_ There's a reason _

  
  


Phill and Tubbo had gone off into the kitchen to make popcorn and Techno followed to get drinks. That left only Will and Tommy in this living room. Tommy was scrolling through twitter and that's when Wilbur took the opportunity to open his journal and write down the numbers.

**_12 / 7 / 2020_ **

**_Four pieces of bacon - 172_ **

**_Fried egg - 90_ **

He didn't care if it was out of his system, he still failed. He closed the book and looked to find Tommy staring him dead in the eyes. 

  
  


_ London puts barriers on the rails  _

  
  


“Uh, Toms? What’s up?”

“What are you writing?”

“Oh, nothing,” Wilbur forced a smile to try and shrug Tommy off. 

“Is it a new song?” Tommy snatched away the book before the other had a chance to react. 

  
  


_ There's a reason  _

  
  


Wilburs stomach contorted, he felt like he was gonna throw up. He probably would if it wasn't for the fact that his stomach was completely empty. Tommy scanned through the pages and his face completely dropped. He looked up at Wilbur with tears rolling down his cheeks, Wilbur had kept his tears at bay but they were threatening to spill. 

  
  


_ London puts barriers on the tube line  _

  
  


“Will, is this. Is this a calorie journal?” 

Wilbur knew there was no point in lying anymore so he simply looked down, bit his tongue and nodded. 

Tommy let out a hurt noise that he couldn't keep in. 

“There are so many dates missed in here, you go  _ days  _ without eating Wilbur.” The pain Tommy's voice as well as the tears streaming broke Wilburs heart, he hurt that kid. 

  
  


_ There's a reason _

  
  


“Tommy I’m sorry-”

“We've got to tell Phill, this isn't healthy!” 

Will almost forgot about the three in the other room, that was until they all walked back into the living room and saw two teary eyed boys sitting on the couch. Tommy had the book clutched in his hands and Wilbur tried to take it back but the boy had a vice grip on it. 

“Tommy give it back!” 

It came out quite a bit harsher than intended and Phill placed down the bowl of popcorn before walking over, “Boys! What's going on?” 

Tommy went to speak but was cut off by Wilbur. Will could not let Tommy tell Phill, the man, the man that he looked at like a dad would be so disappointed in him. He'd be disowned, Phill would think that he's disgusting and kick him out. Phill couldn't know.

  
  


_ London puts barriers on the rails _

“He stole my journal Phill!” 

__

“This isnt a normal fucking journal!” 

“What do you mean?” 

“See for yourself” Tommy handed the book over to Phill, Wilbur tried desperately to stop him as tears now poured from his eyes, but Techno now kept him from that. A broken sob tore from Wilburs throat and he begged for the book back. He was trying to get out of Technos grip but the man overpowered him by quite a bit. Even if Will was much taller Techno had him beat out with muscles by at least ten times. Especially since his frame had gotten scarily thinner paired with his stamina wearing out. 

“Phill please!” 

Phill had a pained look on his face, watching the normally so calm brit come undone like this was horrible. He had to get to the bottom of this, the man flipped open the book and looked through it. 

  
  


_ There's a reason _

  
  


Wilbur stopped struggling now, and just waited for the yelling, but it never came. 

“Will… you've been starving yourself?” In all the time he had known Phill, he had never heard the man's voice break like that. Technos grip loosened, clearly shocked. His face was still as stoic as ever but he was hurt as well. A small cry came from behind Phill, a cry from Tubbo. 

“Why?” 

“I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, god I'm so selfish.” 

Techno then completely let go of Wilbur, who then collapsed onto the ground and pulled his knees to his chest. Will expected everyone to leave him there to wallow in his own self hate, but instead he was engulfed in a pair of warm arms. 

  
  


_ London puts barriers on the tube line  _

  
  


When Will looked up and opened his eyes, to his surprise it was Techno who embraced him. Techno wasn't one to hug others or show affection, but the pink haired man knew his little brother needed this. Next that came over was Phill, he joined in on the hug and cradled the boys head in his shoulder. Will sobbed into Phill, clutching his shirt as he roughly cried. 

_ There's a reason  _

  
  


Tubbo and Tommy walked over and huddled around the crying boy, Tubbo whispering soft ‘it's okay’’s. Tommy was silent but rubbed his back comfortingly, he’d never seen Wilbur like this, he'd always known him as the strong one, the one he and Tubbo could rely on. It turned out that he was just as broken as them. 

Wilbur was now in the arms of all the ones he loved, his sobs slowed down and his breathing got more even so Phill finally spoke up. 

“Wilbur, were gonna get through this ok? We can find you a professional to talk to or if you're uncomfortable with that, and you'll let us, we can help you get through this. Ok?” 

Wilbur nodded quickly as Phill took a deep breath. “We all love you Wilbur, so much.” 

  
  


_ They fail  _

  
  


_ …  _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope whoever reads this dose enjoy! Again, my discord is always open if you are struggling, need someone to talk to, or just want/need a friend. Love you all stay safe babes! <333
> 
> Also! Comments are much appreciated!


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